ACutePsych

So while I’m here, I’ll get this off my chest.

These are the symptoms that my friends don’t know about.

Some of my most difficult symptoms are the images that I can’t shake from my mind.  Frequently, I’m driving home, or reading a book, or taking a shower, or doing the laundry, and an image or a thought will come into my head.  Usually a violent one. It is so hard to say this.  I’ve never been able to say it.  

I’ll usually worry about children.  I’ll see an image of a child being hurt.  It terrifies me.

I try to push this out of my mind. I’m just worried about children getting hurt all the time.  

I’m also very worried that I will find someone who has commit suicide.  Once, in my town, a young man hung himself at night in a playground.  I don’t like to be the first one at a park. I really only will go in if there are already people there.

I’m always worried that I will get lost.  I use a GPS everywhere I go.  I have a piece of paper in my bookbag that had my class schedule and all of the building names and the room numbers.  I check on this paper frequently to make sure it is still there in case I forget where my classes are. If I’m having a bad day I’ll carry it in my hand and check the doors to make sure they’re the right rooms. 

I check the “to” field in my text messages three times before I send, and at least once immediately after to make sure I’m not sending it to the wrong person.

I have dermatilomania.

I hate the sensation of being wet.

I’m 20 years old and I can’t put my foot down next to my bed in case something under it grabs my ankles. I think thats the most terrifying place to be grabbed.

Probably no one will read this, but thats ok.

<3 AcutePsych